It's hard to know what’s most offensive about this PSA done by Kim Kardashian and her sisters.  It's about Burma, and posted on her official site (here).  They do eventually mention the genocide and they take on the powerful pro-genocide lobby by stating that it's bad, but they do it while Kim tries on sexy outfits and stares at her ass in the mirror the whole time.  And there’s this cutesy little music playing that could not be less appropriate.  Instead of a message about a blood soaked civil war and government sponsored rape, it feels like you’re about to be be granted wishes by a fairy or an elf or something.

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Nick Bollea (a.k.a. Nick Hogan) was sentenced to eight months in Florida County Jail today after pleading no contest to charges of felony reckless driving. Wow, a book finally got thrown at a celeb that deserved it. Check out the details from People:

In addition to the jail time, which begins immediately, Bollea, 17, was sentenced to 5 years probation, during which he will serve 500 hours of community service, not be allowed to drink any alcohol and have his driver’s license revoked for 3 years.
“I think there is an understanding of what happened, and there is a sense of acceptance of responsibility,” the judge said, explaining his decision. “There is nothing that the court can impose that is close to what John has dealt with or will have to deal with as he moves forward.”
Leaving the courthouse, Bollea’s family did not address reporters. His attorneys did say that Bollea was “happy” with the sentence, and happy that the case was finished.

All I have to say is, Brooke, if you need any comforting, I’m here for you. Back massage, dip in the hot tub, erotic Parcheesi, you name it. I’m here for you like a rock. A strong rock with rock pecs, biceps and rocky good looks carved from, well, rocks. But moving on, I know it must be tough thinking your dad’s money would save your brother, but these things happen. So, please, don’t hesitate to call - or even put on a bikini and drive to my house. You know, to start the healing process. It’s all about the healing.

EDIT: Added photos of Nick and his family in court. Still can’t believe this kid got any jail time at all. I figured they’d take away his PlayStation for a few days, but then totally give it back after he says “I’m sorry, mama.”

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Mischa Barton was recently photographed looking like her ass had the consistency of the Pillsbury Dough-Boy. Her rep is claiming the pics, which ran in The Daily Mail, were edited because Mischa got into a spat with the photographer, according to NY Daily News:

“Those photos are doctored,” Barton’s rep, Lisa Perkins, tells us. “I’m not saying she’s perfect, nobody is. But they’ve given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old.”
Barton’s publicist contends that Aussie photographer Jamie Fawcett - whom she calls a “parasite” - is out to make the former “O.C.” star look bad because “she called him out for taking the topless shots.”

The Daily Mail is sticking by the photos and says Mischa’s nicotine addiction is the one at fault:

Britain’s Daily Mail, which bought the shots, suggested that Barton’s smoking was to blame for the cottage cheese on her bottom.
“The nasty habit is one of the reasons [for] the premature emergence of her cellulite,” the paper asserted.

Personally, I dunno who’s telling the truth, but all I know is, I’m suddenly hungry for pancakes. Flabby, uncooked pancakes - served by a hot 80-year-old woman. I just read somewhere they have sweet asses. Can’t remember where, but I’m sure it was the most accurate and awesome journalistic outlet on the planet. (Read: Anywhere but this site.)

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Mischa Barton is upset about some very unflattering pictures that ran in the Daily Mail earlier this week (seen above), showing the back of her legs riddled with cellulite.  The New York Daily News says…

"Those photos are doctored," Barton's rep, Lisa Perkins, tells us. "I'm not saying she's perfect, nobody is. But they've given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old."
"Look at the shots that were taken shortly before on a beach in L.A. Did she develop all that cellulite in a couple of weeks? There's a lot you can do with Photoshopping."

This sucks but I have to defend Mischa Barton’s bratty little ass, and point out that the Daily Mail had a very very similar controversy with Victoria Beckham once (more on that here).  Maybe they do doctor pictures to make celebrities look bad, or maybe they didn’t even have to for this because Mischas legs suck.  The first three pictures below were on Tyler on 8.22.05 (here), the next four were on here on 9.22.06 (here).   Do you think those are PS'd too?  Don’t flatter yourself.  No one cares.  Ohh, yeah, for three years now there's been a conspircay that goes all the way to the top to make Mischa Barton look fat. Also, the Illuminati puts AIDS in grape soda to kill inner city black people.  Oh, be careful Mischa!  You know too much!!!

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Nikki Finke and Mark Ebner both terrorize Hollywood by running the best industry websites anywhere.   They are professionals, actual reporters with sources everywhere, not just some brainless monkey who carries on like a lunatic every time some nobody forgets her bra.  Wait … aww god dammit.

You know that I don't discuss celebrities unless there's a strong Industry news component. And, except for one posting, this has been a Lindsay Lohan-free zone. Well, sources just told me that Lohan has been un-attached from the independent feature The Manson Girls, written and to be directed by Matthew Bright, and produced by Elie Samaha, Donald Kushner, and Brad Wyman through Junction Films. Production was slated to commence in early July for five weeks in Los Angeles, and everybody was pleased that Lohan was attached back in March. (Some may, or may not, view this true life crime film for her as hitting bottom. Lindsay was to play the part of Nancy Pitman, a pampered surfer girl who became enthralled with Charlie Manson.) But people associated with the movie told agents that Lohan quickly became more of a deficit than an asset when they discovered that they couldn’t find any name actresses who wanted to co-star with her. (And even some name actors…) So now Lindsay is off the pic — but not for the excuses being circulated. Let this be a lesson… Behaving badly may get you on the covers of celebrity-obsessed mags and tabloids. But Hollywood won't tolerate your shit and shouldn't.

About a moth ago it became clear that something had changed and Lindsay was done.  With her guest appearance on "Ugly Betty", her publicists are claiming she's rededicated herself to saving her career, but none of her plans will work, because Lindsay Lohan is a drunken pervert, not a magical wizard.

(picture source = splash news online. full size pic here)

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Lindsay Lohan’s penchant for clothing-related kleptomaniacism was revealed when she allegedly stole a fur coat at a night club. Now, another woman has come forward and claims Lindsay wiped out her closet. Model Lauren Hastings, Shia LeBeouf’s girlfriend, posted a video (after the jump) on her website detailing Lindsay’s grand theft halter-tops. Apparently five witness saw Lindsay in Lauren’s closet handing a bodyguard stacks of clothing, according to Inside Edition:

INSIDE EDITION has obtained documents from the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s office, confirming that Hastings reported the theft of her clothing. But the DA’s office declined to prosecute Lohan, citing insufficient evidence.
“I contacted Lindsay and said, ‘Look, I know you stole my clothes.’ She then said I was completely delusional, I was pathetic,” Hastings said.

However, Dina Lohan is denying Lindsay’s a thief and recently told Inside Edition that the fur coat incident is a lie:

A disgusted Dina Lohan says it’s not true, her daughter Lindsay never stole a blond mink coat.
“I talked to Lindsay, we were laughing hysterically on the phone…I mean really, it’s silly,” Dina told INSIDE EDITION.

Okay, considering Lindsay was raised by Michael and Dina, stealing clothes is really a best case scenario. I mean, it could be way worse. I’m just surprised we haven’t find out she was the mastermind behind 9/11. Or even worse: Wrote the scripts for the Star Wars prequels. Someone needs to answer for Jar-Jar, LiLo.

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Hugh Hefner apparently enjoyed the Miley Cyrus bare-back photos so much, that he wants to see what’s underneath the sheet. When she’s 18, of course. I mean, c’mon, Hugh’s not some dirty old man. He’s more like, oh I dunno, Jesus. Here’s the details from Extra:

“Certainly she’d be welcome to the magazine. She’s a very pretty lady.”
As for the drama caused by Cyrus’ VF shoot? “To make such a big to-do over something as innocent as those photos — I think it’s a reflection of how schizophrenic America is about sexuality.”

Hugh, old chum, I disagree with you on Americans being schizophrenic about getting freaky. Just because sometimes sex is awesome, then bad, then interrupting my video games, then super cool, then something I cry during, doesn’t mean all of us in the colonies have wacky views on the no-pants dance. If I need to build a castle out of LEGOs before knocking boots, that’s perfectly healthy. Unless my lady friend uses up all the gray pieces first. Then she might as well call a taxi and get the heck out because I’m a man of principles, dammit.

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George Clooney sat down with Rolling Stone movie critic Peter Travers Wednesday night for a special screening of Leatherheads. During the Q & A, The Chinned One discussed his acting past and his experiences on the set of Roseanne which included a sexual offer from Roseanne. WARNING: If you just ate, skip to the witty banter after the quote. People reports:

“I worked on her first series, and when I met her she said, ‘You’re really good looking, why don’t you take me out behind the stage and make me stink.’ She was unbelievably kind to me at a time when no one was.”

Clooney, being a rookie actor, couldn’t answer with his honest response which I’m sure was something along the lines of: “Well, it looks like somebody already beat me to it. And by somebody I mean a pack of teamsters, Tom Arnold and, judging by your shirt, a hot roast beef sandwich - with fries.”

NOTE: I make the same face as the Clooney above every morning in front of my mirror. While on George it says, “Hi, I’m George Clooney. I’m suave and debonair,” on me it says, “Hi, I’m The Superficial Writer. I wear Spider-man jammies, ladies.”

Thanks to veggi whose pick-up line is so powerful, the Pentagon classified it as “Nuclear Sexy.”

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Remember Rebecca Loos?  She’s the Spanish bisexual model who worked as a personal assistant to David Beckham, and she went to the papers in 2004 saying they had an affair.  So - brace yourself - it turns out it might be a bad idea to let your husband work day and night with Spanish bisexual models.  Point being, yesterday she walked through LAX with no bra and a very sheer top.  And since I travel a lot, todays lesson is this: if you’re a model with big tits, and you feel like showing them to me, by all means go for it.

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