Lindsay Lohan sounds like she would be fun to hang out with.  Even when she's in rehab it's just a nonstop party.  Doin drugs and blowin' guys, she's like a damn amusement park.  Female First says she was caught with drugs at Cirque Lodge rehab - much like she was rumored to be high while at Promises rehab - and they forced her to take a drug test, which she failed.  A source said"

"Lindsay got called into the director's office on August 15 and was questioned about drugs. When ordered to take a drug test, she reluctantly complied but screamed and cursed at the medical director before storming out the room. She was told that if she couldn't conform to the program she'd have to leave."

And ShowbizSpy says she was caught having sex in the bathroom:

“Staff were alerted to the bathroom because there were strange noises coming from inside and two voices could be heard,” a source says. “When they opened the door, Lindsay was in a compromising position with the guy – who’s also at Cirque for drug rehab.”
“Rumors spread like wildfire across the place that they’d been having sex. When staff found them they were all flustered and Lindsay’s hair was all over the shop,” the source adds. “She was livid that she was given the miserable task of cleaning the bathrooms so the theory was she’d do something really dirty in there.”

I seriously don't even know what the hell that means.  Banging dudes is Lindsay’s answer to everything.  It's purely coincidence she was asked to do a "dirty" job beforehand.  Jesus, what pagan cavemen are running this GD place.  "Bird stay in tree when moon come from sky.  Crop die.  God angry!  GRRARRARRRARRR!"

UPDATE - "7 days"

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I’m not sure what has to be going through a person’s mind that they could leave their house forgetting to wear pants. Then again, I have no idea what’s going through Britney Spears’ mind period. If you could peek inside her brain I’m pretty sure you’d see a cartoon kitty taking a nap.

UPDATE: Want to see the view from the back? Of course not, but it’s right here if you’re interested.

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Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael Lohan will be visiting the troubled actress at the Cirque Lodge rehabilitation center in Utah. The two haven’t seen each other in years due to Michael’s trouble with the law and abusive temper, but Lindsay has decided to let him visit. Page Six reports:

“It’s a part of the healing process,” a friend said. “Lindsay will see him later this week, but she will have counselors with her. It will not be alone.” … In order for him to be allowed to visit, Dina - who has a restraining order out against Michael - had to get it lifted. “Dina thinks it is a good idea,” the friend said. “Lindsay needs to deal with this and needs closure.”

Battling drug and alcohol addiction has probably left Lindsay in a fragile state. I’m pretty sure seeing her father for the first time in years might not have the desired results counselors are looking for. Especially considering the first words out of Michael’s mouth will be: “Whoa, where did those come from?” Later that evening authorities will be scratching their heads over how in the hell Lindsay managed to drive her SUV into the Statue of Liberty’s face.

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I can't put my finger on it, but for some reason I get the feeling Britney Spears might be wearing fake blue contacts.

UPDATE - now with 100 percent more Hot Ass Action!  (picture source = X17)

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If anyone knows at what point Alyson Hannigan turned into the Berries and Cream Starburst guy, feel free to shoot me an email.

(oh look, tmz is doing britney posts where they fake her dialog in a comical hillbilly accent.  what a clever bit)

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The New York Post is also saying today that Owen Wilson was hooked on heroin and cocaine and struggling with depression, and they blame it on British actor Steve Coogan.  A-HA!  I Knew It!  Wait, what…

Wilson's drug use was so frequent, it was even the cause of his Memorial Day breakup with Kate Hudson.
And his friends are placing the blame squarely on Wilson's newfound best buddy, British actor Steve Coogan, with whom he starred in several films.
"I went through it with Steve," Coogan's former girlfriend, rocker Courtney Love, told US.
"I was just out of rehab, and he was right there with the drugs. I tried to warn Owen. I tried to warn his friends. I hope from the bottom of my heart that Owen stays the hell away from that guy."
Wilson's addiction was so severe, his pal Woody Harrelson tried to stage an intervention at his home in Maui.
"Owen went to Maui, Hawaii, to kick his habit," a longtime Wilson pal told the mag. "He was like a baby on that couch."
The friend said that heroin was the first thing that came to mind when Wilson and Hudson split and he suddenly "disappeared off the face of the earth."
Another cause of his depression was his very public split with Hudson   it all became too much for the actress when Wilson's struggles came to light.
She even banned Coogan from Wilson's house while they were dating. "She knew he was bad," said a source.

No screwin around this time - when Courtney Love calls you a bad influence, you need to look at yourself in the mirror.  And I don't think you're gonna like what you see. It's like when I tried out for the NFL, and I got cut and my roster spot was taken by a donkey that kicks field goals.  And they took my helmet and cut little holes in it for the donkeys ears.  That was a real wake up call, bro.

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Shia LeBeouf and Rihanna are apparently dating, and it's no secret at least to the cast and crew of "Indiana Jones 4", in which Shia plays the son of Indiana Jones.

“It’s all the talk of the Indiana Jones 4 set,” says one source.  And the pair are now taking their relationship public - slowly.  Tuesday night, LeBeouf and Rihanna had dinner at Kate Mantilini in Beverly Hills.

I think this is cool because I bet this is the kind of thing that drives Hitler nuts.  Blacks and Jews gettin' it on.  I bet the skinheads are goin' completely apeshit right now.

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Us Magazine says that Owen Wilson’s addiction to heroin and cocaine and his breakup with Kate Hudson may have contributed to his depression and led to his suicide attempt on Monday.  They also seem to think its amazing that he went to church three days before the attempt.  Us says:

Wilson visited a St. Monica church in his neighborhood on August 23, out of either devotion or desperation. Three days later, actor Luke Wilson, 35, found his brother in his Santa Monica, California, home with his left wrist slashed, having ingested a quantity of pills.
While the news stunned Owen's fans, members of his and Hudson's inner circles were reportedly all too aware of his private struggles with depression and addiction to cocaine and heroin.
According to sources close to the actor, his downward spiral only worsened after his June split from Hudson, 28.
"We always thought he was just too fun-loving, but now it's obvious he was just dealing with way too much to handle," says a family friend.

It had to be the drugs.  Because … um … Kate Hudson?  What kind of weirdo tries to kill himself over Kate Hudson?  That chick is completely average in every way.  She could walk through my bedroom on fire and I'm not sure I would even notice.  I've seen her a million times and I'm not even positive what she looks like.  I know she's white and she has a head.  I think.  Yeah, yeah, she definitely has a head.

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Owen Wilson was reportedly struggling with depression and hooked on heroin and cocaine, and it was his drug addiction that caused his breakup with Kate Hudson. And who’s to blame for all this? Apparently some British guy named Steve Coogan. The New York Post reports:

“I went through it with Steve,” Coogan’s former girlfriend, rocker Courtney Love, told US.

“I was just out of rehab, and he was right there with the drugs. I tried to warn Owen. I tried to warn his friends. I hope from the bottom of my heart that Owen stays the hell away from that guy.”

Wilson’s addiction was so severe, his pal Woody Harrelson tried to stage an intervention at his home in Maui.

“Owen went to Maui, Hawaii, to kick his habit,” a longtime Wilson pal told the mag. “He was like a baby on that couch.”

The friend said that heroin was the first thing that came to mind when Wilson and Hudson split and he suddenly “disappeared off the face of the earth.”

“I thought, briefly, he might be back on heroin, but we all really felt he’d kicked that ages ago,” his friend said.

It’s bad enough this Steve Coogan guy basically made Owen Wilson want to kill himself, but you seriously have to reexamine your life if Courtney Love calls you a bad influence. I saw her make out with a hypodermic needles once and the only complaint she had was that it was “kind of pokey.”

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Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael Lohan will be visiting the troubled actress at the Cirque Lodge rehabilitation center in Utah. The two haven’t seen each other in years due to Michael’s trouble with the law and abusive temper, but Lindsay has decided to let him visit. Page Six reports:

“It’s a part of the healing process,” a friend said. “Lindsay will see him later this week, but she will have counselors with her. It will not be alone.” … In order for him to be allowed to visit, Dina - who has a restraining order out against Michael - had to get it lifted. “Dina thinks it is a good idea,” the friend said. “Lindsay needs to deal with this and needs closure.”

Battling drug and alcohol addiction has probably left Lindsay in a fragile state. I’m pretty sure seeing her father for the first time in years might not have the desired results counselors are looking for. Especially considering the first words out of Michael’s mouth will be: “Whoa, where did those come from?” Later that evening authorities will be scratching their heads over how in the hell Lindsay managed to drive her SUV into the Statue of Liberty’s face.

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