Britney Spears was taken from her home early this morning in an ambulance. She’s currently checked into UCLA for mental evaluation, according to People:

“She went willingly. It was like something in her heart was telling her she should go. She knew something was wrong,” confidant Sam Lutfi tells PEOPLE.

However Sam Lufti may no longer be speaking for Britney. TMZ is reporting that Britney’s parents are taking control of the situation and are working with a judge to get control of Britney:

We’re told Britney’s mother, father and brother have been “working closely with the LAPD for weeks” to get her back in for psychiatric care. There is now a dogfight between Britney’s family and Sam Lutfi over who will make medical decisions, however, that fight is now put on hold because the judge now makes the call.

Apparently it was Britney Spears’ new psychiatrist who called the ambulance last night to get the ball rolling. There was no suicide attempt which had previously been rumored. Britney is back on 5150 hold and this time her parents are looking to it extend it for 14 days. As of this post, there has been no sign of Dr. Phil. He’s probably still firing up the Phil-jet.

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Paris Hilton posed for photos outside of the Ed Sullivan Theater last night. She was making an appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman to promote her new movie The Hottie and The Nottie. Even more surprising than her movie not going straight to video, are the fans waiting outside and presenting her with a bouquet of roses. Apparently these people are so inspired by Bigfoot they’ll brave the New York cold just to scream “Paris, we love you!” and the always popular, “Viva la genital sores!”

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Leah Remini wants to have some relevance to her life since King of Queens went off the air, so she’s angling to be godmother to her good friend Jennifer Lopez’s unborn baby(s), according to People:

“We’re asking for an audition for godparent roles,” Remini, 36, joked to PEOPLE at the premiere after-party for her new comedy Over Her Dead Body Tuesday night. “Um … so, we’re waiting to hear back.”

I think Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony should seriously consider Leah’s case. I mean, Leah is an OT V in Scientology. I’m assuming that means she’s allowed to look at Tom Cruise’s face. But not in the eyes. Anyway, she has experience dealing with aliens which, let’s be real, one or two of them are popping out of that J-uterus. I know for a fact that Marc Anthony crash landed at Roswell. Then he salsa-danced his way out of the wreckage and into our hearts.

NOTE: Here’s a crazed letter from Leah Remini urging other Scientologists to become “clear” by crossing a bridge with rainbows or something. It’s sort of like Lord of the Rings but less believable.

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Britney Spears is reportedly on medication for bipolar disorder. She has seen several psychiatrists and has one that visits her regularly. Friends claim Britney does well on the medication, but when she feels normal she quits taking it causing her to go batshit. However, one professional tells TMZ the medication is just flat-out not working:

That same professional tells TMZ, “She’s really trying. Whether it works — we’ll have to see.” That person also says it’s extremely frustrating when the media shows video of Britney out on the town acting crazy, adding, “She has a disease. Sometimes when you see her she’s in the middle of an episode. It’s like mocking someone with Down syndrome.”

Wow. Did that person just say Britney Spears has Down syndrome? That’s a bit harsh. To people with Down syndrome that is. They try their best and are surprisingly great with kids. Britney on the other hand; well, she’s great with, uh, I dunno, socks?

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James Gandolfini decided to rough up a fan he encountered at JFK airport yesterday. The guy claimed to be a huge fan of Tony Soprano and kept pushing for an autograph, according to the Daily Mail:

The affection was clearly not mutual, with an irritated Gandolfini grabbing the man by his collar and punching him, claiming he came to close to his girlfriend Deborah Lin.
The fan said: “I’m just trying to find out how to be a Soprano.” Gandolfini responded: “Well, that’s how you do it.”

Tony Soprano quickly had a change of heart (i.e. didn’t want to get sued) and posed for a photo with his victim/superfan. Wait a minute. Jordan Bratman?

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Us Weekly is claiming to have a source close to Angelina Jolie that says she is definitely pregnant. Word is Angelina is going to auction off confirmation of the news and donate the proceeds to charity:

One SAG attendee tells Us in its latest issue, on newsstands now, “It was so obvious she was pregnant. You could clearly see the bump’s outline.”

OK! Magazine is also reporting the bun’s in the oven. But enough about that. Let’s get down to brass tacks. I bid $1 billion* for the exclusive confirmation interview. For the record, I like to prepare a meal for all my interviewees. Hopefully Angelina likes Easy Mac out of a Tupperware dish. Also, I cook in the nude. That’s the naked nude, ladies.

*To be paid in $1 yearly installments. Dollar may be substituted for gum wrapper at any time. Gum not included.

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Adnan Ghalib tests boner pills. Let’s pause for a moment and reflect on the best lead written in the history of journalism. Fantastic. Anyway, some of you might have heard of this, but apparently Adnan is on a panel of guys who test male enhancement products. You can see his bio on SexHealthReview.com. (He’s the third one down. Can’t miss him.) Here’s what it says in case your work doesn’t want you reading about erections:

Occupation: Filmmaker.
Tell Us a Little Something About Yourself:
I work in “the” industry in Los Angeles and I know many of my friends use these products. Thought this would be an interesting opportunity to reveal the truth to many men worldwide.

What is Adnan hinting at by saying he works in “the” industry? Does he work in porn? Or is he not only impotent but unable to properly use quotations? I don’t see how I’m supposed to trust a guy to inform me about Spermamax when he can’t even use the correct punctuation. I don’t want to think I’ll have “a” massive boner only to find out it’s a non-quoted erection. That’s just embarrassing.

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Tom Cruise is receiving a new Ducati Desmosedici RR motorcycle this week. Tom is receiving the very first model of the only 1,500 made. The cycle cost $72,500 and can reach speeds of 200 mph, according to NY Daily News:

Cruise, whose net worth is upwards of $250 million, is known to have an affinity for fast vehicles, including motorcycles, Porsches and planes. Some estimate the actor spent $1 million in 2006 on fuel alone.

A million smackers on gas? Jesus. Somewhere Al Gore is reading this with eco-friendly steam coming out his ears. He’s probably wishing he didn’t make that promise to Gary Coleman to never kick a midget again. But he never said anything about face punching…

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Britney Spears’ parents came into town Monday night with plans of staging an intervention to get Britney mental help. Yesterday afternoon, Sam Lufti persuaded Britney to go car-shopping and they brought Lynne Spears along. It didn’t go well, according to People:

“Lynne and Britney were arguing in the car the whole time. They’re both upset and arguing, not having a good time at all,” an onlooker tells PEOPLE.

After 15 minutes at the dealership, Britney drove a black Escalade off the lot. “After she came out, she pulled over to the side of the road to argue with her mom more,” adds the onlooker.

TMZ then reported that Sam was disrupting the family’s intervention, so Sam called TMZ’s own Harvey Levin to set the record straight. Presumably through grave-pissing:

Lutfi said of the family, “They have an agenda. Their agenda is jealously because they don’t fit in. I do. They see her three times a year.”
Britney was by the phone during Lutfi’s conversation with Levin. Lutfi claimed he did not force Britney to buy a car, asking Brit, “Did I force you to buy a car.” In a heavy southern accent she responded, “No.” He continued, “Do I ever bug you.” She replied, “We argue.”

Family sources tell TMZ that Sam is a “megalomaniac” who is “motivated by evil.” I disagree. I see Sam Lufti as more of a “douchebag” who is motivated by “crazy vagina.” Yeah, that’s right. I can use fancy medical terms too.

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Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio had a photo shoot this weekend in South Beach. I should also mention she’s three months pregnant. Normally, the sight of a pregnant woman makes me want to change my name, grow a moustache and flee to the Rockies. (If anyone asks, my name is Adam F. Thundernads.) But, today, I’m going to make an exception with Alessandra and ignore my natural, sharply honed reflexes. Maybe it’s because I’m starting to mature as an adult or perhaps it’s because she’s wearing a bikini. I’m not really sure. But I’d put money on the bikini – and a lot of it.

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