Just in the last few hours, the story broke that Entertainment Tonight and the Insider will air a video tonight of Heath Ledger at a party inside Hollywood hotspot Château Marmont, and apparently drugs and alcohol play a prominent role. Details are sketchy but the video is almost exactly one year old, and Ledger references then girlfriend Michelle Williams.

"I'm gonna get so much shit from my girlfriend," Ledger is seen saying in the video. When asked why, Ledger replies, "We have a baby together … Matilda, Matilda Rose."

Ledger was said to battle an addiction to heroin and other drugs for years, but it's not believed any of those things contributed to his death one week ago. And as of now, it's not clear if the video shows Heath using or handling drugs. So why even bring this up, you might ask? Because Entertainment Tonight and the Insider are vultures. Don't be surprised if tomorrow they show Heath eating a kosher hot dog and then yell, "Did Heath Ledger Kill Jesus? If not, does this video prove he knows who did? Find out the Shocking Truth after this!"

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Paris Hilton posed for photos outside of the Ed Sullivan Theater last night. She was making an appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman to promote her new movie The Hottie and The Nottie. Even more surprising than her movie not going straight to video, are the fans waiting outside and presenting her with a bouquet of roses. Apparently these people are so inspired by Bigfoot they’ll brave the New York cold just to scream “Paris, we love you!” and the always popular, “Viva la genital sores!”

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Leah Remini wants to have some relevance to her life since King of Queens went off the air, so she’s angling to be godmother to her good friend Jennifer Lopez’s unborn baby(s), according to People:

“We’re asking for an audition for godparent roles,” Remini, 36, joked to PEOPLE at the premiere after-party for her new comedy Over Her Dead Body Tuesday night. “Um … so, we’re waiting to hear back.”

I think Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony should seriously consider Leah’s case. I mean, Leah is an OT V in Scientology. I’m assuming that means she’s allowed to look at Tom Cruise’s face. But not in the eyes. Anyway, she has experience dealing with aliens which, let’s be real, one or two of them are popping out of that J-uterus. I know for a fact that Marc Anthony crash landed at Roswell. Then he salsa-danced his way out of the wreckage and into our hearts.

NOTE: Here’s a crazed letter from Leah Remini urging other Scientologists to become “clear” by crossing a bridge with rainbows or something. It’s sort of like Lord of the Rings but less believable.

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OK magazine is saying now that Angelina Jolie is pregnant, confirming what has been rumored for weeks.  Almost a month ago word first leaked that Angelina had started to consult a nutritionist to prepare for her second pregnancy, and some reports even claimed she was expecting twins, but for now the only word is that she is expecting, and due sometime in the fall.  OK! says:

…Angelina is indeed expecting baby no. 2 with boyfriend Brad Pitt and that the actress is over the moon about bringing another child into the world.
"Angie has wanted a second biological baby for some time now," a friend of the star tells OK!. "And the minute she's pregnant, she just glows. She's the type that doesn't want to scream it to everyone, but she has the quiet, expectant mother glow. Her smile says she's the luckiest woman in the world."
But while all is well now, the pal says it did take some persistence for Angelina to conceive.

Well fuck I would say so. It's Angelina Jolie. Angelina could be my girlfriend for 5 years and still the extent of our sex life would be her taking off her clothes, then me taking off my clothes, then her bending over a chair and wiggling her ass, then me putting my pants back on, apologizing and crying in the bathroom as I clean up.

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Longtime Scientologist Nancy Cartwright — best known as the voice of Bart Simpson — gave the church of scientology $10 million last year, twice as much as even scientology superstar Tom Cruise, who gave just under 5 million. Page Six says:

It was all part of Scientology’s Global Salvage effort, which aims to “de-aberrate” Earth — meaning to rid mankind of psychology ills and other “aberrant” behavior.
Here are some of the celeb gifts from 2007:  Nancy Cartwright: $10 million.  Kirstie Alley: $5 million.  John Travolta: $1 million.  Kelly Preston: $1 million.  Priscilla Presley: $50,000.

"De-aberate" isn't a real word of course, but if it were it would mean the exact opposite of "lust for money", because scientology likes that a whole lot. Tom Cruise, seen above with ATM's Katherine Bell and Kelly Preston, and here with easily duped lottery tickets Jason Lee and Erika Christensen, should be ashamed of himself. 5 million?  They'll never find and stop the alien lord who invented aberating at this rate.

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Britney Spears is reportedly on medication for bipolar disorder. She has seen several psychiatrists and has one that visits her regularly. Friends claim Britney does well on the medication, but when she feels normal she quits taking it causing her to go batshit. However, one professional tells TMZ the medication is just flat-out not working:

That same professional tells TMZ, “She’s really trying. Whether it works — we’ll have to see.” That person also says it’s extremely frustrating when the media shows video of Britney out on the town acting crazy, adding, “She has a disease. Sometimes when you see her she’s in the middle of an episode. It’s like mocking someone with Down syndrome.”

Wow. Did that person just say Britney Spears has Down syndrome? That’s a bit harsh. To people with Down syndrome that is. They try their best and are surprisingly great with kids. Britney on the other hand; well, she’s great with, uh, I dunno, socks?

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James Gandolfini decided to rough up a fan he encountered at JFK airport yesterday. The guy claimed to be a huge fan of Tony Soprano and kept pushing for an autograph, according to the Daily Mail:

The affection was clearly not mutual, with an irritated Gandolfini grabbing the man by his collar and punching him, claiming he came to close to his girlfriend Deborah Lin.
The fan said: “I’m just trying to find out how to be a Soprano.” Gandolfini responded: “Well, that’s how you do it.”

Tony Soprano quickly had a change of heart (i.e. didn’t want to get sued) and posed for a photo with his victim/superfan. Wait a minute. Jordan Bratman?

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Us Weekly is claiming to have a source close to Angelina Jolie that says she is definitely pregnant. Word is Angelina is going to auction off confirmation of the news and donate the proceeds to charity:

One SAG attendee tells Us in its latest issue, on newsstands now, “It was so obvious she was pregnant. You could clearly see the bump’s outline.”

OK! Magazine is also reporting the bun’s in the oven. But enough about that. Let’s get down to brass tacks. I bid $1 billion* for the exclusive confirmation interview. For the record, I like to prepare a meal for all my interviewees. Hopefully Angelina likes Easy Mac out of a Tupperware dish. Also, I cook in the nude. That’s the naked nude, ladies.

*To be paid in $1 yearly installments. Dollar may be substituted for gum wrapper at any time. Gum not included.

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Adnan Ghalib tests boner pills. Let’s pause for a moment and reflect on the best lead written in the history of journalism. Fantastic. Anyway, some of you might have heard of this, but apparently Adnan is on a panel of guys who test male enhancement products. You can see his bio on SexHealthReview.com. (He’s the third one down. Can’t miss him.) Here’s what it says in case your work doesn’t want you reading about erections:

Occupation: Filmmaker.
Tell Us a Little Something About Yourself:
I work in “the” industry in Los Angeles and I know many of my friends use these products. Thought this would be an interesting opportunity to reveal the truth to many men worldwide.

What is Adnan hinting at by saying he works in “the” industry? Does he work in porn? Or is he not only impotent but unable to properly use quotations? I don’t see how I’m supposed to trust a guy to inform me about Spermamax when he can’t even use the correct punctuation. I don’t want to think I’ll have “a” massive boner only to find out it’s a non-quoted erection. That’s just embarrassing.

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World famous artist Daniel Edwards has created many amazing works of art in the past, such as Britney Spears giving birth and Paris Hilton dead on an autopsy table, but now he’s gone from art meant to make you think to art meant solely to turn you on. And, oh baby, it's working! TMZ says this bronze sculpture is of “a curvaceous and robust Oprah Winfrey, called, "The Oprah Sarcophagus."

I'm pretty sure Oprah is meant to be dead in this one too, but my penis doesn’t care. That just means less gabbin and more grabbin, baby!

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