Amy Winehouse left rehab earlier this month after a quick 10 day stay, and believe it or not, that may not be enough time to cure an addiction to heroin, cocaine and ecstasy.  I was also surprised by that.  And today the Daily Mail says that she is acting erratically again and may be back on drugs, citing her bizarre antics late last night as possible proof.

…she made a late night run for a sugar fix at her local store, later roaming around London's Camden with just one shoe on.
It comes amid reports the Rehab singer is back on drugs and is also said to self-harming.
She is said to be indulging in a dangerous cocktail of cocaine, ecstasy, cannabis and alcohol after managing to stay clean for less than ten days.
The Sun quoted a friend as saying: "On the first night in rehab she begged a friend to take her in some drugs.  After that she did not take anything for a week to ten days. But that was just about trying to get her to the Grammys.   Now we're back to the dangerous levels of before."

She was pretty scratched to hell the other day.  This picture is from Monday.  Here's one where you can really see the scratches on her arm and in this one there's some weird sore on her face.  So is she getting high again?  I hope not.  There are better ways to relax and have fun.  Finger painting, for example.

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Heidi Montag can’t do anything without it becoming a totally staged photo shoot. I bet she goes to the bathroom and gives the toilet paper roll a thumbs up and a smile. Here she is shopping at Kitson while cameramen film her for MySpace Presents: The Fit on MySpace Celebrity. I have no idea what that is, nor do I want to know. I’ll just end up wanting to firebomb everyone that uses MySpace. So watch out pervs, 15-year-old girls and, most of all, Dane Cook.

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Diablo Cody’s tale is a touching story of feminine strength and following your dreams. It should really be turned into a movie that I have my fingers crossed will air on the Spice Channel. Diablo used to be a stripper and managed to work her way off the pole to become an award winning screenwriter. She wrote Juno which earned this buxom writer a Spirit Award and a little something called the Oscar. Maybe you’ve heard of it. Her victory was an inspiration to a group of dancers who, in defiance of God’s will, we’re allowed to stop dancing and watch the Academy Awards, according to Page Six:

Meanwhile, the topless talents at Rick’s Cabaret NY were so excited about Cody being up for Best Screenplay Sunday night, they stopped dancing and stayed glued to the mammary mecca’s big-screen TVs as the winner was announced. They burst into tears when they heard Cody’s name. “She proves that if you follow your dreams, anything can come true,” gushed Charlotte, a busty brunette. The girls have even made a plaque for Cody that reads in part: “Dedicated to Diablo Cody, who has taken our calling to new levels.”

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to help these naked dreamers get a little bit closer to their goal by throwing dollar bills at them. *looks in wallet* Did I say dollar bills? I meant pennies. Lots and lots of pennies. Or, as I like to call them, “tiny copper dream circles” that I may or may not have found in the restroom.

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Photos: Getty Images

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Heidi Montag can’t do anything without it becoming a totally staged photo shoot. I bet she goes to the bathroom and gives the toilet paper roll a thumbs up and a smile. Here she is shopping at Kitson while cameramen film her for MySpace Presents: The Fit on MySpace Celebrity. I have no idea what that is, nor do I want to know. I’ll just end up wanting to firebomb everyone that uses MySpace. So watch out pervs, 15-year-old girls and, most of all, Dane Cook.

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"Entourage" is the dumbest fucking show on television and if anyone thinks otherwise they’re an idiot. And it turns out the cast is as generous as they are talented. Here the star of the show waits to make sure the camera is recording before he gives a quarter to some guy on the street. Imagine that. A whole quarter. Now all the homeless guy needs is for a rip in space to bring him back to the court of Queen Isabella for a few days so he can invest that quarter.  If those things all happen, look out, because this guy is gonna be rich.  Rich in money.  And he owes it all to Adrian Grenier.  Lucky dog.

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Lindsay Lohans little sister Ali has an interview with Teen Vogue this month or week or whatever that thing is, and in it she puts to rest any doubt that being an empty headed vapid fame whore is genetic.

ON MAKING IT IN HOLLYWOOD: "I want it so bad. So bad you don't even know. And now, it's actually happening."
ALI, ON BIG SISTER LINDSAY: "I grew up watching Lindsay, and it made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you…it's so cool when people look up to you. I've already been asked for my autograph, and it's just a really good
feeling to have."
ALI, ON HER NEW REALITY TV SHOW: "It's not all that fake stuff. It's just what we do in our everyday life."

Well they better do some fake stuff because Ali is 14.  What the hell is a 14 year old gonna do, take care of her turtle and eat pizza?  Either way, her dumb ass better embrace it while she can.  In 10 years she's gonna go from people asking for her autograph to people asking how much for a table dance.

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Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie were supposed to have a little sit down to ease the tension between the two and bring some closure to the fact that Brad ditched Jen to repopulate the planet with Angelina. The sit down was scheduled before the Night Before party in Beverly Hills on Saturday, but Angie bailed at the last minute. Author Robert Greene of “The 48 Laws of Power” gives Us Weekly his analysis:

“If Angelina is trying to get under Jen’s skin – push her buttons – this is a clever way to do it,” Greene adds.
“Imagine you’re in Jen’s shoes,” he says. “You’re worried about Angelina showing up. And she never does. It’s infuriating. If intentional, it’s definitely a power move.”

Maybe Angelina Jolie, being the humanitarian that she is, didn’t want to rub in the fact that she has a fully function reproductive system and Jennifer Aniston will die barren and alone. I mean, that sounds considerate. Or Angelina could just be a total bitch and wanted to screw with Jen’s head. Then she went home and wrote about her in her slambook while Brad braided her hair. Yeah, all that stuff.

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Britney Spears, much like Katie Holmes, could really, seriously, for real this time possibly be pregnant again. Adnan Ghalib is reportedly telling friends he slipped one past the goalie, according to Star:

And what do you know! The fallen pop princess’ belly is starting to show a little bulge, in spite of hours of classes at the Millennium Dance Complex.
“Britney is Adnan’s dream come true. He knows that if he has a child with Brit, he’ll be made for life,” one friend of Adnan’s tells Star.

These are some closer shots of Britney shopping in Beverly Hills. Unfortunately her blouse is see-through but now we’ve got a closer look at her gut. I can’t believe I just passed that off as a good thing. Anyway, I’m not a gynecologist in the States, but in Mexico? You bet your ass I am. Now, Britney doesn’t seem to have the protruding stomach that denotes pregnancy. But she does seem to have the jiggly side fat of a chick who will eat a baby if left in a car too long. Eh, how’s that for a diagnosis? Juan’s Backyard Medical School, you’re worth your weight in pesos.

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Ali Lohan, Lindsay’s 14-year-old little sister, wants to grow up to be just like Lindsay. Ali’s got a new reality show that her mom Dina brokered because, let’s be real, Dina couldn’t parent her way out of a wet paper bag with a knife inside. Anyway, here’s what Ali said to Teen Vogue:

“I grew up watching Lindsay, and it made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you…it’s so cool when people look up to you. I’ve already been asked for my autograph, and it’s just a really good feeling to have.”

Ali got to watch Lindsay pose nude as Marilyn Monroe and I guess she found it appealing that her 22-year-old sister’s body looked worse than that of a 36-year-old. Add that to all the whoring, and I mean, c’mon Lindsay is a modern-day Sandra Day O’Connor. I have no idea who that is, but I’m sure she’s an awesome role model just like Lindsay.

EDIT: Turns out Sandra Day O’Connor was a Supreme Court Justice who literally just sued my pants off. And I say literally because FBI agents kicked down my door and pantsed me. Then laughed at my genitalia. The jokes on them though. Chicks laugh at my package all the time. HA! I win.

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Katie Holmes could really, seriously, for real this time possibly be pregnant again. The cover story for OK! Magazine claims she put on 10 pounds and her appearance at two red carpet events has people talking. And by people I mean the editors at OK! who are dedicated to saying Katie is pregnant every 2-3 months:

But when the slender star showed up wearing loose-fitting dresses at both the Costume Designers Guild Awards and the Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards that seemed to reveal the hint of a bump to spectators, the question on everyone’s lips was: Could Katie have a baby on board?
“She has that special glow that only pregnant women have,” an eyewitness tells OK!. “I would say there is a strong possibility that she’s pregnant.”

Before I destroy the pregnancy rumors like the Bruce Lee of Gossip that I am, why is Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise at the Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards? They’re neither black nor women. Moving on. First, if Katie was pregnant she wouldn’t have that special glow. She’d have the bewildered look of someone who just got inseminated by a turkey baster because her husband cries at the sight of vaginas. As for the extra 10 pounds, hello, she’s got a midget strapped to her waist. Okay, technically it’s Tom Cruise, but now you’re just splitting hairs.

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