Kate Bosworth knows how to tackle tough scenes - with gallons upon gallons of booze. As if chasing after my own heart, Kate talked to People about how she handled her love scene with Jim Sturgess in their new movie 21:

“We were both so drunk,” the Superman Returns star said. “Jim and I became such good friends, we decided to have a couple of drinks, loosen up and go for it.”

Jim Sturgess doesn’t even remember doing the scene:

“We were on Grey Goose, I think,” said the British actor. “It was brilliant for about half and an hour. As we continued to drink … it just became sloppy and messy. I couldn’t stand up at one point.”

So, wait, getting shit-faced and falling over is technically considered acting? Damn, where’s my Oscar? I don’t remember anything since 2003. Hey, where’d this wedding band come from? And who this little kid by my desk? Somebody fetch my whiskey mug so I can sort this out. *sips* Much better. Now I can get back to what I do best: typing with my forehead. *bang bang bang* Britney’s vagina *bang bang bang* Holy crap, boobs!

And that’s the story of how The Superficial Writer does his job. The End.

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Star magazine is awesome, and according to them, the picture above is George Clooneys new girlfriend Sarah Larson.  Sarah was a cocktail waitress at the Palms in Vegas when they met, but apparently on the side she stuck her ass in the air and licked magazines.  Yaay!

"Sarah is outgoing and fun and loves to drink. She likes to get wasted when she goes out — but hey, that's what Vegas is all about!"
In one risqué set of photos taken in July 2007 — one month after she first met George, 46, at the Palms resort — Sarah, 29, is wearing a short dress and has her legs wrapped around a man holding her up against a wall in the middle of a crowded Vegas nightclub (see that picture here).
The next day, Sarah — who appears to be drunk — is pictured wearing a bikini at a huge, outdoor pool party at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, kneeling on all fours with her backside in the air as she licks the cover of a magazine lying on the ground. She's also shown rolling around on the floor as she wrestles a bikini-clad blonde!
"That's our Sarah!" says the source. "She's not shy in the slightest."

I like that she's licking a girl on that magazine cover.  But then, I'm open to watching hot naked girls make out.  Probably because I'm so fancy and sophisticated.

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Audrina Patridge got naked and had someone take pictures of it when she was 19, which I truly admire, but white people need to knock it off with the Chinese lettering tattoos (close up of hers here).  I'm a big fan of white people and being white is terrific, but we're kind of dumb, and the overwhelming majority of us don't know how to use Chinese.  Her tattoo literally says "pork oil fry on rice".  God only knows WTF she thinks it means.  It turns out that guy above isn’t an expert on Chinese.  Shocking, yes?

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The Sun UK says today that Pete Doherty may be converting to Scientology, after getting a new girlfriend who is a follower of the religion based on dead aliens souls trapped her on earth.

Babyshambles frontman Pete, 29 — who once dated supermodel KATE MOSS — has bought a pile of books on the subject since meeting Scientologist DJ NADINE RUDDY.  And he has been leaving his Wiltshire mansion to stay at her home in Reading, Berks, at least once a week.

No one should be more religious than Pete Doherty, since really every day he's alive is a gift from God.  He's like Wolverine, you can't kill him, and our earth weapons only make him stronger.  When asked for a comment, Ivan Drago said, "he is not human, he is like a piece of iron."

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Hulk Hogan was spotted last night in Hollywood with a young man-chinned woman with implants. Naturally, everyone thought it was Brooke. But it was the Hulkster’s date. Yikes! It’s an honest mistake really. I mean, If it looks like a duck and has fake tits like a duck, it’s probably a duck that looks like your daughter and you should seek therapy TODAY.

Video of the paps mistaking Hulk’s date for Brooke after the jump.

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Paris Hilton was apparently asked to help judge the Miss Turkey contest yesterday. One of the contestants brought Paris onstage to do some belly dancing and it would’ve been entertaining if Paris didn’t try to pull off her club dance moves on a well-lit stage. Have you ever been to the bar sober and watched chicks dance? It’s literally that awkward. I’ve seen sexier moves from a paraplegic wombat.

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The reason Brett Michaels is on the VH1 show "Rock of Love" is because he was the lead singer for the 80's glam rock band Poison.  No one ever cares about the drummer, so no one made him a show that lines up whores to bang, so in this case he raped someone in Mississippi.   And this isn't really related, but remember that scene in "Evil Dead" where the girl gets raped by a tree.  WTF was that all about.  TMZ says…

(Rocket) was arrested on a rape warrant issued out of Mississippi as he arrived at LAX after getting off a flight from New Zealand, police said.
Rikki Rockett, 46, was arrested Monday at the airport and booked into the Los Angeles County Jail He was held on a strong-arm rape warrant stemming from Neshoba County, Mississippi, and appears to have been released from L.A. County custody, the Sheriff's Web site shows. His status today could not be confirmed.
Details about the warrant were not immediately available.

I think most people would agree that I'm the real victim here, because this forced me to try to find a picture of Rikki Rocket.  I don’t have any of those, so please enjoy "Rape of the Sabine Women", by Schönfeld, which I prefer to the more popular version by Rubens.  My zest for life continues to overcome!

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Page Six says that the money paid for the first pictures of celebrity babies is about to reach a new unimaginable level.  After People paid Jennifer Lopez 6 million for the first pictures of her twins, it's said the pictures for the twins of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt may fetch 10 million dollars.

One magazine editor who asked to remain anonymous said, "It's at the point now where some stars might decide to have more kids just to collect the money from their photos."
Pregnant stars are now "treating this like a game," said National Enquirer Executive Editor Barry Levine.
"It's become big business now," Levine said. "It's outrageous, they've gotten very sophisticated. The rights are bought up now even before the celeb enters the hospital. They hire extra security so it's impossible to obtain a photo illegally."

These kids better be pretty fuckin cute if someone is paying 10 million dollars. These pictures better be adorable.  There better be one of them with little angel wings, one in a pelicans mouth, one in a little doctors outfit, and one where they're getting kisses from a basset hound puppy.  Actually, for 10 million you better get all that plus a DVD of the conception.

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Simona Fusco Stratten apparently decided to air off her boobs while vacationing in Hawaii. Clearly those things were burning up because, damn, I’m sorry Kim Kardashian lovers, but there is all kinds of things right with this woman. And not because Simona flashed her jubilees like the sea water is the antidote. Which makes pretty much makes her a shining beacon of inspiration. I mean, Jesus is sitting in heaven right now going “And, fuck, I just got served. Way to be, JC.”

Big thanks to Roy who saw boobs and knew to contact a real expert. Then eventually me when that guy didn’t get back to him.

NOTE: First four pics are NSFW because of the wind in the boobage.

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Janice Dickinson risked life and emaciated limb yesterday by venturing out into the daylight (Nosferatu’s natural enemy) to get a a manicure at a Bevery Hills nail spa. For those of you wondering what’s in Janice’s cleavage, it’s her cell phone. Where does the sexy end and the woman begin? Am I right? Back me up, fellas.

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