Brooke Hogan continues to spend her days in a bikini, but this time she was joined by her dad and his new girlfriend who, creepily, looks like Brooke. For those keeping score at home: Hulk’s girlfriend has the back tattoo and her bikini doesn’t tie in the back. Brooke has the sunglasses, her bikini ties in the back and she also has HER FATHER’S HAND ON HER ASS! WHAT THE SUPER FUCK?! If my daughter asked me to put suntan lotion on her bikini-clad ass, I’d say “Sure, honey. First, let me just put on my beekeeper’s outfit, knight’s armor, and some rubber gloves. In the meantime, could you be so kind to distract the lifeguard while daddy dives into the deep-end of the pool and, God willing, drowns? Aw, you’re a peach.”

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Brooke Hogan continues to spend her days in a bikini, but this time she was joined by her dad and his new girlfriend who, creepily, looks like Brooke. For those keeping score at home: Hulk’s girlfriend has the back tattoo and her bikini doesn’t tie in the back. Brooke has the sunglasses, her bikini ties in the back and she also has HER FATHER’S HAND ON HER ASS! WHAT THE SUPER FUCK?! If my daughter asked me to put suntan lotion on her bikini-clad ass, I’d say “Sure, honey. First, let me just put on my beekeeper’s outfit, knight’s armor, and some rubber gloves. In the meantime, could you be so kind to distract the lifeguard while daddy dives into the deep-end of the pool and, God willing, drowns? Aw, you’re a peach.”

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Hulk Hogan slathered his hands in baby oil and then rubbed up against his daughters crotch yesterday, but in his defense, she has big implants, and guys love that.

NOW WITH MORE CREEPY UPDATE - Does Brooke Hogan not have arms?  Can she not oil her own ass?

(picture source = inf daily)

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You have to remember that actors are fucking idiots and people kiss their ass all day so they think they’re good at stuff but usually they suck.  For some reason this often leads to many of them thinking they can sing.  I blame Fergie because people see that tranny mess flail around on stage like she's choking and they think, "how hard could this be?"  Zoey Deschanel and her band are good if you like that kind of sound, and the Brittany Murphy song with Paul Oakenfold is actually pretty GD great, but Scarlett Johansson has set the new bar for awfulness with her Tom Waits cover of "Falling Down".  The only way this experience could be any worse is if the monitor grew arms and started stabbing you. 

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Kim Kardashian (looking unusually hot) and her sister Khloe are currently down under scoping out Australian Fashion Week. But, just last week, the two came to blows over Kim’s new Bentley. Aww, now that’s relatable. Anyway, the fisticuffs showed up on the latest episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians (video after the jump). So, when I say these two rumbled, I mean, literally, the ground shook. Khloe is one solid woman. She could probably give Brooke Hogan a run for her money. Then afterwards they’d swap tips on shaving their testicles. BFFs with balls 4 life!

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God only knows how long this will stay up, but for now, heres the new trailer for "The Dark Knight". It's set to be officially released this Sunday. I don't know why studios freak out about stuff like this. It's out, it looks great, get over it. Deleting stuff like this is trying to shove a baby back into the uterus.

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Amy Winehouses comeback seems to be going exactly as planned, as long as her plan was to gross everybody out by answering the door in her bra and panties and do tons of drugs and stumble around drunk and high and almost naked.  If that was the plan, Mission Accomplished!

(picture source – splash news online)

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There’s an unspoken rule around here that, if I see something nasty, guess what? You guys have to see it too. Heart you! Here’s Amy Winehouse being playful for some paps outside her door. They apparently caught her off guard as she opened the door in her bra - then they stuck around! I didn’t know the blind were into celebrity photography? Anyway, Amy decided to play cute for the photogs and I imagine the conversation went something along these lines (Warning: Horrible attempt at British accent approaching):

“Ello, ello? You caught me in my knickers, plum right you did. Let me gets me shirt on. Alright much better. Fancy a rogering with me bean pie right fancy kitty kat with the magazine? Aye, looks like rain, bloomin’ blokeys peanut butter with the Lucky Charms me done seen right’o with the telly. Crack san’wich, guv’nah?”

Of course, I’m giving Amy the benefit of the doubt. She probably just chewed on a lamp post then jumped back inside through a closed window.

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Han Solo and Princess Leia knocked space boots - for real! Apparently, Harrison Ford got a hold of Carrie Fisher’s cinnamon buns and gave her a bit of The Force during the making of the first Star Wars film. Here’s what Carrie revealed on an upcoming British TV special, according to The Sun:

“I went on the film saying ‘I’m going to have an affair’, like it was a kiwi, an exotic fruit — because I’d never had one!” She adds: “I had a crush on Harrison for sure. Harrison is great fun when he’s had a few drinks.”
Shaking her head and saying: “I’m going to get in so much trouble,” she adds: “Once I left the room and came back and he was in the closet not wearing a lot of clothes.”

For all you Star Wars geeks out there, this means that Harrison and Carrie had what grown-ups call “a special hug.” You see, when a man loves a woman, or drinks enough gin, he feels the urge to put his penis into her vagina. Okay, I lost you didn’t I? Um, alright, got it: The man wants to put his “lightsaber” into a woman’s “Sarlacc pit.” But, don’t worry; there’re no tentacles or giant teeth. Well, sometimes. That’s where the gin comes in handy…

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When they’re not busy posing for horribly fake photo shoots (I call this one “America: Ain’t We Retarded?”), Heidi and Spencer love to expose their Hills co-star Lauren Conrad as just as fake as they are. This morning, the couple dropped a bomb on Tyra (video after the jump) and confirmed that Lauren did, in fact, make a sex tape. Tyra asked Spencer if he actually watched it and he said he’d rather throw up making it the first time I actually agree with the douchenozzle. I’d rather watch a video of my vacuum cleaner humping my couch. I wonder what that would look like… *hunts for camcorder*

UPDATE: Okay, is it legal to marry a household appliance? Because, guys, I think I’m in love.

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