Blake Lively needs to stop trying to hide from the press.  The last time she did this she ended up showing one of her tits.  This time she flashed a peak of her underwear.  Wait, no.  I said she needs to stop.  I meant to say she needs to do this every single day.  Twice a day if she's gonna wear sexy ass dresses like this.  It looks like she got drilled all night then put on her boyfriends shirt and took off.  Girls look super hot when they're naked except for something that belongs to a guy.  Especially if it's my semen.

(picture source = splash news)

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At an after-party for Madonna’s recently launched Sticky & Sweet Tour, her brother Christopher Ciccone felt the mood was right for sharing a lactating Demi Moore anecdote with The Sun. But, then again, when isn’t the mood right for a Demi Moore story about breast milk? (Answer: Christmas dinner. I’ve been shunned.):

He said: “We went out and Demi was dancing up on me and humping me from behind. She was lactating at the time and she was squirting breast milk at my lesbian friends.
“My friend Michelle called me the next morning and asked me: ‘How do I get breast milk out of my black dress?’
“I replied: ‘How the f*** would I know? Call Demi!’”

Try club soda. Now, keep in mind the source of this story is Madonna’s brother and The Sun. So the only place this really happened is my mind - and right now: “Look out, Demi, she wants you to sign a petition for gay adoption! PEW PEW PEW!”

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After getting his nuts kicked in on Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson’s blog, Michael Lohan has magically acquired a one-hour TV special where he’ll ‘expose’ ex-wife Dina Lohan who he claims is the one that told him Samantha Ronson is writing a tell-all book. Of course, Michael can’t say what network his “special” is on, or when it will air, but believe him, it’s the real deal. TVGuide.com has the exclusive:

“I have it all on tape — all recorded, time and date-stamped,” he said. “You will hear it all. I have 101 text messages between Lindsay and I, and I have about 60 tape recordings of Dina.”
Because of contractual agreements, Lohan cannot specify the name of the special or on what network it will air, but insisted it is “definitely” happening.
“It might be broken up into parts, but it’s going to be done,” he said. “These lies have to stop. She can’t say all these things to me and when I try to address it, deny everything. Dina’s a hypocrite and I’m tired of it.”
“I’ve never taken or earned one penny from my daughter. Meanwhile, all the people around her, including her mother, are earning money off of her,” he said. “They want publicity. They’re there for self-serving reasons. I didn’t have my own reality TV show.”

‘I didn’t have my own reality TV show.’ And look what whining got you. I guarantee this special, if it exists, will run at one a.m. against an episode of Family Guy where Peter makes a non-sequitur reference to the 80s, so you know what I’ll be watching that night: Porn.

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Jessica Simpson gave another shitass performance in her continuing effort to crossover to country which must be frustrating. I mean, she’s proven she’s illiterate and joined the Klan. What more do these people want?! Anyway, here’s the highlights of her Wednesday night concert at the Avalon Ballroom where Jessica gave long-winded intros to every song forcing The Niagara Falls Review to comment “It might be unfair calling Jessica Simpson’s show at the Avalon Ballroom Wednesday a train wreck. At some point, a train knows where it’s going.”:

On how her man must be ready for anything that comes out of her uterus:
Before the new song “Man Enough,” she said her man must be ready for anything - including the possibility she’s pregnant with an alien.

On Nick Lachey:
Ex-hubby Nick Lachey gets grilled in the bitter “When I Loved You Like That,” where our girl basically says she carried his cheatin’ ass all those years.

On the smell of her farts; I’m not kidding:
“I do pass gas a lot,” she said. “I guarantee it smells like roses.”

A public admission that your ass doesn’t stink despite chronic flatulence. Now that’s classy. I bet you an old man in a top hat put a monocle up to his eye and said “Jolly good show!” That’s how classy it was. Bravo!

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This really sounds like he’s just trying to brag, but David Duchovny checked himself into a rehab facility last night because he's addicted to sex.  Okay David, we get it, you get tons of ass.  Enough already.

David Duchovny has entered a rehabilitation center for sex addiction, his lawyer, Stanton "Larry" Stein, tells People exclusively.  "I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction," the actor says in an exclusive statement. "I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family."  Duchovny, 48, has been married to actress Téa Leoni since 1997. They have two children, daughter Madelaine West, 9, and son Kyd, 6.

This guy really is a pervert, as you can tell but these completely unrelated pictures from the set of "Californication".  Even the blurry background chicks have huge tits.  Was that David’s idea?  Did he force the producers to do that, and then did he bang her?  Uh, yeah sure why not.  Either way, rehab for sex addiction is probably not nearly as hot as it sounds.  I like to imagine it's a room full of giggling cheerleaders in nothing but panties with their names across the ass, but more likely it's girls with too much eye shadow and scars on their wrists who cry if you get em in reverse cowgirl.  Boo-hoo.

(picture source = inf daily) 

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David Duchovny has checked into rehab for sex addiction, according to People:

“I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction,” the actor says in an exclusive statement. “I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family.”

Ironically, David Duchovny plays a sex addict on the Showtime series Californication. The network issued the following statement:

“All of us at Showtime wish David and his family the best during this very private time.”

Perhaps “private time” wasn’t the best choice of words, Showtime. Anyway, this puts the X-Files in a whole new light especially after reading Agent Scully’s statement:

One time he asked if we could do it U.F.O-style. At first I was confused, until he showed me ‘the probe.’

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Very obviously Michael Lohan wasn’t going to sit quietly on the sidelines after his daughter Lindsay called him out, and, predictably, here we have his response to her response to her girlfriends response to his statement, all of which has been done through entertainment websites or myspace.

"Who's out of control? Whose life is out of control? Give me a break. Going from place to place, being dragged around by Samantha so she can make more money off of Lindsay being there when she spins.
She's gone from making $7 million to less than a million a movie. Who's out of control? I go to church. I go and help people in rehab. That's control. How can she say I'm out of control? I want Lindsay to be in a good place. When I started looking at what Samantha was doing, dragging Lindsay to clubs, drinking around Lindsay.
Samantha is one of the biggest problems in her life. That's what Dina told me. I'm reacting on what Dina said, but then Dina steps out of the picture because she wants to look like the good guy. Dina's a two-face. She wants to try to look good and stay on Lindsay's good side instead of being a good parent. I don't give two hoots about my relationship with Lindsay as a friend. One day she's going to turn around to me and tell me, 'Daddy, you were right.”

Boooring.  Look, it's Lindsay dressed as a cheerleader on the set of Ugly Betty.  And you can tell that show is made for girls and gay guys because that's the lamest cheerleader outfit ever.  What did they spend on that, like a dollar?  It’s the kind of cheerleading outfit goth girls wear to make fun of cheerleaders.

(picture source = inf daily)

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If you received a note from someone and the first sentence of that note said…

If you have something to say to me, say it to my face- that's what i have believed my whole life- don't be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world-

Where would you assume you would have found that note?  Is the answer, a) in your email.  B) in your mailbox.  C) on their public myspace.   Keep in mind Lindsay Lohan is the one who wrote the note.  And it was to her dad.  Hey guess what…

Samantha has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful.
This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item.
I'm not going to engage any further, though i probably could go on…
I have said enough, i have a therapist, and it is not the the camera man at x17.

I admire Lindsays discretion.  She really took the highroad, but will her dad get the hint?  She should probably get one of those plane banners to say MICHAEL LOHAN SUCKS to fly by the beach just in case.

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These are shots of British reality TV star Jodie Marsh at the premiere of Daylight Robbery. Jodie is apparently the scourge of the English celebrity scene and likes to show up at red carpet events in Spandex. Think Andy Dick but with gigantor boobs. That said, don’t tell me this isn’t Britney Spears in 10 years. I mean, just looking at that pouch, I’m convinced this actually is her sent back from the future to warn us about something. But what? Terminators? Global Warming? Heidi Montag? Tell us, Future Britney with Implants! I swear I’ll make eye contact - sort of.

EDIT: Added more pics because, well, yeah….

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In a shocking revelation that could only come out in the news vacuum before a holiday weekend (Diggin’ those Heidi Montag posts?), it appears Sarah Larson actually grew weary of The Clooney’s charm and cheated on him while they were dating, according to Page Six:

Larson seems to have a roving eye. Sin City sources say that while the former cocktail waitress, who’s trying to kick- start a modeling career, was dating Clooney, she “came to Vegas for a weekend and cheated on him” with a media mogul.
Larson and Clooney broke up earlier this summer. Sources said it was because they had little in common and because Larson insisted on getting breast implants. But, ever the gentleman, Clooney helped promote her new career before he dumped her, and she got a spread in Harper’s Bazaar and a few runway gigs at LA Fashion Week.

Damn! Someone cheated on The Clooney? That’s like finding out a free Ferrari doesn’t race out of Angelina Jolie’s vagina after you have sex with her. I mean, Christ, what’s a man have left to believe in in this crazy world?

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